Everyone commented on how it would be her job now to keep her husband Lester out of trouble up there and while we all chuckled I hoped that wouldn't really be her fate. She had to do too much of that in life here as I understand.
It was nice sitting around and being with family...even though I didn't have a clue as to who most of them were. I would get introduced as Ludeen, LaVon's sister, second son's daughter. It was interesting looking at my grandmother's siblings...who all was left, how they looked, (which really was pretty good,) and felt curious connections.
I sat through the comments about her, and I really didn't know her that well, and it made me sad I didn't know her better. I couldn't make it to the reunion in Las Vegas and didn't really feel the inclination but I will try to make the next one I think.
I did wear a dress...I AM capable of it and I think I pull it off well though I am more comfortable in a pair of old jeans or some cords. I can clean up pretty well if need be.
I listened to the music played, keenly aware of every flubbed note, but after attempting to sing at my grandpa's funeral, I am exceedingly charitable. There are times I think it almost cruel to ask family members to speak or sing...but who else means it as much?
I think, as I always do at funerals, of what I would like at my own. Who I would want to speak, the memories I would want left, the flowers I would like (roses and lots of,) the music I would want played (Think I'll request Alex play an assortment of hymns on her violin and perhaps Mark will be good enough on piano he could accompany her. That would be nice.) I would want Suzanne to delivery my eulogy and I gave her a specific request once though I doubt she would follow through. I think I was kidding anyway.
I think about how LaVon's casket is nice but I do not want pink.
Am I morbid for thinking about this? How if I have any money saved I would want a mission/education fund for my nieces and nephews (assuming there are ever more than 3?) How there are files and journals and letters I want to go to specific people and how there are others I don't want anyone to see.
I think where my life is at...the things I am on course about, the things I am not. Funerals always seem to provide rudder adjustments. So does hanging out with children.