I knew his girlfriend. She sold Mary Kay and had stalked me for several months trying to get me to buy the stuff, (heh. No.) but she was a pretty decent sort. I told DA he couldn't just "run off and get married." He owed her something better than that.
I got a long explanation of how his paycheck was already gone and they figured he'd save money on rent if he just moved in and as long as he's moving in, they may as well just get married.
I told him we would get his shift covered but I still wasn't really impressed. (we're good enough friends I'm allowed to say stuff like that.)
The phone rang a few minutes later and this time it was his girlfriend who felt the need to explain to herself to me. (Got some guilt going there methinks. Why should she have to explain to ME?) She knew I was a returned missionary, she was an RM herself and told me she knew she had already made several mistakes and her bishop and some of her friends had already counselled her etc. But DA was a wonderful guy (and he IS,) and she asked me if I thought Heavenly Father would be disappointed if she just started living with a guy.
I think her asking me that showed she already knew what I thought the answer was.
"I agree," she said. "So, we decided we'll just get married. I don't need the big Cinderella thing and the only real next time we can get things arranged to get married is the 16th of November." (I don't know why the 16th, but okay...)
I told her to plan something on the 16th and that way they can invite a few people and make it a little meaningful and special and so their marriage has a little bit of dignity to it. I told her, "You don't want to run off and get married just because DA can't afford rent!"
"But...he still needs to move in!" she said.
"Okay," I said, "but then he's sleeping on the COUCH!"
"Jett," she said after a pause and a little sheepishly, "um, but we're already sleeping together."
"Well, now you're NOT." I said emphatically. "He's on the couch until the 16th. You want to do this so you have something of a honeymoon to look forward to and so you can start this a little properly!"
"I know," she said again even more sheepishly. "So...no sex until we're married."
"No." I told her. (I felt like a missionary again. Boldness and honestly tempered with compassion. Funny. And I had prayed for missionary opportunities this very morning.)
"That will be HARD," she whined a little.
I told her about the couple I knew on the mission who had been together for 25+ years...and from the moment they were committed to be baptized and married they didn't do anything. The branch threw them the cutest little wedding and reception and the whole affair was so fun and celebratory. If THEY could not touch each other for nearly a month and a half after having been together for over 25 years, then DA could rest his horny butt on the couch for 2.5 weeks!
"Okay," she said. "He's on the couch then."
I heard DA in the background. "Say WHAAAT?!"
"You know I'm right about this," I told her quietly.
"I know." she said. She sounded a little relieved.
"And y'know," I said thoughtfully, "Your marriage will start out so much better. It will have so much more meaning if you do it like this...with a little bit of honor and dignity to it."
"I know." she said again. "It will be HARD."
"Yes," I told her, "but you can do it. And I'll be checking up on you to see how you're doing."
She laughed. "That's probably a good idea."
I hung up the phone and felt so happy. Yay for preventing a classless marriage and helping someone realize to do the right thing.
At work though, the moral of the story seems to be:
Don't talk to Jett if you're going to miss your shift. She'll have you sleeping on the couch for TWO WEEKS.