Now that I am here though I am rather enjoying myself. There are no sounds of the road bleedng in my ears...no fire engines screaming by or police cars whooping to get slow traffic.
There are a lot of birds chirping and the wind through the trees sounds mighty and strong. The air is clean and from where I sit...flopped on a ridiculously comfortable couch on an enormous front porch of the main building I can spot many lizards basking in the sun and on my left a large fuzzy and curious caterpillar is crawling up the armrest. Down the road a little bit is a swimming pool and a hottub. I may head down there a little later.
A few of us have gotten back from a low impact hike...(we walked to the road and back.) Others have continued on...they want to climb up the mountain. I want to sit and rest and type and perhaps take a nap soon.
This is after a large lunch and a morning full of talks and exercises about healing. There are many here who have had shattered childhoods and rough adulthoods. I think this retreat is much more for them than me. Nobody gets out of childhood unscarred but there are definite degrees of trauma and pain.
I had no idea a lot of the crap that had happened to my small group leader. Years of foster care before she was finally adopted...alcohol abuse ...she has overcome a lot. You would never know it...she is so bubbly and friendly. It makes me reflect and write rambling journal entries like this.
I generally find going to Lisa's church activities if anything makes me MORE Mormon and this is no exception. I enjoy the company of the women, I have enjoyed my small groups discussion but there is something lacking for me.