Jett (jatg) wrote,
Jett
jatg

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"Ghosts of files past" and "Isn't it about...time?"

I'm feeling much better tonight than I did last. Half a nostril working is infinitely better than none. At least I can swallow without gagging.

_____

I opted not to go to karate tonight...I figure with my constant sniffing and coughing nobody would want to be grappling with me. I did go to Target and get the fixin's for wassail. Every so often if I inahled DEEPLY I could catch a whiff. It smells like spice and comfort. I haven't made it for a fair bit.

______

I started going through the drawers in my filing cabinet and if I thought going through the boxes was rough they were nothing in comparison to going through these. There are ghosts in my files.

I found emails from past relationships. Reading them made me smile and wince and remember and wonder just how things got so BAD.

I found photos...from high school, from my mission, from Sheridan. Family photos with Baby Sam smiling at me holding a hose. Photos with missionary companions. Photos with classmates asleep in the halls.

I found newspaper clippings...my letter to the editor that so shook things up at school the administration yanked all the teachers from the animation department in for an emergency meeting. I have found assignments from first year (chucked those!) I found drawings I did for Hulabee...I found my "we're letting you go temporarily" letter from Hulabee (please note I'm not there.)

I found zillions of Xena drawings. That's going to be a chunky awful lot to sort through. Holy cow I had a lot of unfinished ideas. Part of my brain thinks I should finish them. Another part things I should have a bonefire.

I find layouts and character designs and folders full of animated scenes that have not been flipped in years. I find tonal drawings and figure sketches and animation history notes. I find cartoons BJ and I scribbled back and forth. I find doodles I did at church in Guelph.

I found bank statements and receipts from Canada. I smirk over receipts from the bank showing the exchange rate when I was in school. (Much better then that it is now. Thank you Lord for small favors!)

I found my typed out missionary farewell talk. (and boy, THAT was an interesting talk. It was on Joseph Smith.)

I found dozens of little storyboarded out bits that looking at made me laugh.

I found sketchbook after sketchbook. Most of them were halfway filled. Yikes.

I found play programs from when I was in high school. I found play programs from last year in Hamilton.

Going through all this is rough. Right now my drawers are empty and my floor is littered with my past.

I do not know how to react to all the ghosts that are now swirling about me.

I am trying to sort and codify and organize the ghosts I want to keep in neat little folders but right now they are very present.
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