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Tonight at karate we practiced rolling... and I am teh sux0rs at it. I'm really, really, really, PAINFULLY BAD at it. Like...embarassingly BAD. Soooo bad. I can not roll. Can't roll with it. Can't rock and roll. Can't even bake em and in karate... holy cow, definitely can't roll with the punches.

In THEORY I know how to do it... tuck your head, bend your knees, pitch forward, make the weight fall on your shoulder and untuck as you roll out. Nice and smooth. Easy peasy.

The problem IS... I'm afraid of hurting myself so I do it WRONG and it DOES hurt and it makes me even more skittish for the NEXT time. Everyone else is diving over these hurdles and I am on my knees gingerly trying to roll forward and am STILL wrenching the crap out of my back.

So, everyone else in class is like liquid butter...

*I* am like butter as well. That has been in the freezer for AGES. I am so like frozen butter at rolling that you could carve me into a state fair cow I am so bad at rolling.

My back ACHES...deep muscle aching. I'm going to be in severe pain tomorrow I'm fairly certain.

Sensei Evans cracked my back after and then told me to go home and ICE my back and then lay on some heating compresses. I have neither. Heck...I don't even have frozen vegetables or else I'd be writhing against a bag of frozen peas right about now.

I DID think maybe of going and stripping my shirt off and laying in the snow for a bit but that struck me as vaguely pagan and also freakin' BRRRR.

Maybe I should though, just for the story:

"Dear LJ, tonight I lay topless in the snow and then had a very hot shower. I hope I get lots and lots of comments and that my mother doesn't read about it."

Heh. Except now I am fed and watered and in my flannel pjs and winter socks and have my fuzzy boy who is SO happy I am home snugged up against me. While I am amused at the thought of going and lying down in the snow, shan't do it.

I AM going to karate tomorrow though. Assuming I can walk. Yes...aspirin will be my dear friend.

And someday...someday I will be able to roll.

Comments

( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
firynze
Nov. 30th, 2006 06:26 am (UTC)
*snuggles you*

If it makes you feel any better, my art is basically all rolling, all the time. You can't train with ANYTHING until you know how to roll and, well, they didn't call me the Paraplegic Monkey for nothing. Took two months of private rolling lessons to get me my first belt.

...I will never advance beyond 5th kyu. I can't do a cartwheel, let alone a cartwheel with no hands. I'd die.

The major thing to remember when you're doing the roll is to get down as low as you possibly, possibly can before starting (seriously, get your ear to the mat before you let yourself go over - it makes you less skittish if you don't just go WHEEEEFLAIL), to tuck your chin in good and tight, and to lead with a shoulder. It really helps.
jatg
Nov. 30th, 2006 06:45 am (UTC)
Thanks. I'll have to remember that. And...paraplegic monkey?
Boy does THAT sound like an icon to be made! ;)

And hey, snuggles! Woo hoo! :D
firynze
Nov. 30th, 2006 04:54 pm (UTC)
Paraplegic monkey. I used to land on my back and twitch a lot when doing standing side rolls. *giggles*
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )

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