June: For my birthday I am gifted with tickets to Canada in July...which really set off a whole chain of events.
July: Had a trip to Canada of such extreme emotional suckitude I am convinced somday it is going to express itself in a guffaw inducing comic of hilarious proportions. I felt like a cat toy... either ignored or battered nearly to death. Stay tuned for THAT.
August: Had a road trip to San Francisco which was the polar opposite of the trip to Canada...ironically enough with the same person I went to go see in Canada. It was an astonishing fun trip though, camping in Petaluma, going to the Oakland temple, gazing down at the view from atop Mt. Tam. It was a trip that filled me with much hope and optimism.
September: ...which promptly crashed and burned. This was a month I had been looking forward to... the return of normalcy...which didn't happen. My kickboxing instructor quit and my figure drawing group had been disbanded, ostensibly to reconvene in November and my home turned into a party house. Would you believe I got tickets to go to Canada again? Obviously I am tres stupid.
October: Following an internal prompting I worked on a little short I called "The Hat." I felt impressed I should really get my portfolio in order. Also the 24 Hour Comic anthology came out. That was a neat, neat thing...to see my own work...art AND story in print.
November: Went to Canada. Came back. Ended relations in Canada. I was tired of feeling like a lunatic. At work I was offered the chance to write and storyboard out the next game in production. Started working on that and quit thinking about applying at other places. Really started thinking about transferring to the tentative San Francisco studio when this particular game was done.
December: Talked a lot with Mark B who made the offer for me to come and visit New Zealand. Threw myself into making sketchbooks. Merry Christmas!
January: I was supposed to go off to New Zealand but the timing didn't play out. Felt myself sliding more in a downward spiral. Can I just say how much I loathe January and February? I wish I could just sleep through them both.
February: Instead of New Zealand which got pushed to March I went and visited some friends in San Francisco. Their company was good for my soul. At work I am putting the finishing touches of the boards. I also moved at the start of the month, escaping my old place which had turned into a party house of drunken 20 year olds. Again with the hating of the month.
March: NEW ZEALAND. Gorgeous...stunning...thought provoking. From impossibly beautiful beaches to storyboards at the HIT lab to meeting Peter Jackson... It was an incredible trip and one I wonder now if I dreamed the whole thing. I wish I hadn't been in such a downward spiral when I went to visit but it was an amazing trip. We got a lot of stuff hashed out the VERY LAST NIGHT there...and I left wondering if I had screwed things up forever.
April: Work...spring...much thought. Started walks with Dan which I think...more than anything...start to pull me out of my funk. The 2005 24 Hour Comic anthology is nominated for an Eisner.
May: More walks...more thoughts...and a trip to Moab/Arches. Oh yeah...the San Francisco studio gets scuttled. There goes THAT particular plan.
June: So far this month it's been some frustrations at work and upping the weights I take walking.
I haven't accomplished as much artistically this year as I had by last...nor am I in as good a shape but emotionally I feel a lot better. 2005...and really...pretty much the majority of being 32 was pretty darn crappy... so I am hoping for a more emotionally healthy "fat cow year." I was pouring myself into drawing and working out last year I think partly to keep myself so busy I didn't have time to think about things. There has been much thinking this year..but one does have to get through it. You can't keep hiding and subliminating forever.
I've also felt impressed to accelerate getting out of debt... working again...HARD on my portfolio and then see where life takes me.
I wonder where I will be next year at this time. Happy birthday ME.