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Am I allowed to be a little bit snarky that Russell M. Nelson's new bride has a PhD in family therapy and is a professor of marriage and family therapy at BYU...has written several books on marital intimacy...has worked for years as a marriage and family therapist...and has never been married...until yesterday?

I'm so gonna get struck down.


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 8th, 2006 04:09 am (UTC)
No, I'm with ya there.

It's like people who try to be authoritative on children, without ever raising even one, or being exposed in some similar capacity. =/

Shoot... did the announcement say his last wife died in February? "That didn't take long," was the thought which occurred to me.

But hey, I hope they're happy. They'll prolly have better luck than I have.
Apr. 8th, 2006 04:22 am (UTC)
We were all kids once. That's all the experience some people think they need. :)
Apr. 8th, 2006 05:22 am (UTC)
"That didn't take long,"

Yeah, I thought that too. Most widowered apostles don't stayed widowered for too long after the death of their wives. Howard W. Hunter was married 3 times, Dallin H. Oaks was married a little over a year after his wife's death.
Apr. 8th, 2006 04:25 am (UTC)
I have a LDS-related question.

OK, so they're married. But it's not an eternal marriage, is it? I mean, he'd probably already been sealed in the temple to his previous wife, right? And that can only happen once?

If this wedding wasn't a temple marriage, where might it have happened? Would it have just been a civil ceremony, or would there be some blessing or religious ceremony, too? And what about her? Does she miss out on the chance for an eternal marriage?

I guess that was a few questions. If I'm totally off base with any of my assumptions, let me know.
Apr. 8th, 2006 05:25 am (UTC)
Interesting question. Men can be sealed to more than one wife. Women can only be sealed to one man. There are a few exceptions...she can have one dissolved and choose to be sealed to another man...basically we still believe in polygamy...in the next life. (hah...I first typed "wife.")

If both have been sealed before to other people they can choose to be married for `time only.' IE: The marriage covenant does not continue past this life.

In this instance he was sealed to her as well. Presumably in the eternities he will have both.

Yes...a lot of LDS men and women look about uncomfortably when the subject comes up... I think we all just hope it will work itself out.
Apr. 8th, 2006 05:40 am (UTC)
How interesing. What would happen though if it was a second marriage for both people? He could be sealed to her in the afterlife but not she to him?
Apr. 8th, 2006 05:50 am (UTC)
If it was a second marriage for both of them (and they had previously been sealed to other people) they probably would get married for time only. He would not be sealed to her, nor her to them.
Apr. 8th, 2006 06:00 am (UTC)
I think the idea of sealing is really interesting. I wonder if it were a more common belief if people would slow down when getting married. I think it would have stopped me from marrying my first husband at least.
Apr. 8th, 2006 09:28 am (UTC)
I like it as well. It really drives home the FOREVER part of marriage... oh no wait, most marriages nowadays are contracts "until death do us part" only. Oh no wait, that isn't true either. Blah. :(
Apr. 8th, 2006 10:26 pm (UTC)
If she were previously sealed to someone else, they would not be sealed but would be married for time only. It is possible to do this in a temple.
Apr. 8th, 2006 07:09 am (UTC)
You're serious...?


Apr. 8th, 2006 09:25 am (UTC)
Actually all of the above I am okay with, except the last one - "has worked for years as a marriage and family therapist."

Because I think it's fine that she has a degree in and teaches/writes about how marriages/families are SUPPOSED to work, or how they are SUPPOSED to be. But to be a therapist? "Okay, I see that you have problems x, y, and z. I don't know how you have those problems because marriage/the family isn't supposed to be that way, but let me tell you how it was supposed to have worked out..."
Apr. 8th, 2006 03:34 pm (UTC)
I've actually have had read and listened to Wendy. She is quite accurate about a lot of her observations. Her book on marital intimacy is more about how the gospel and keeping the commandments brings people together and not a hinderance on married life. She admitted that she was never married and that people would write her off on those grounds. But that is only a part of what she does. . .She's big on helping people figure out that they don't always see a person or a situation clearly. She was with a man, but after much fasting and prayer she broke up with him. It turned out to be a right, but very unpopular decision that she made.

Having said that, I had a slight chuckle over her marriage announcement to Elder Nelson. I thought that she finally got a chance to practice what she advocates.
Apr. 8th, 2006 05:15 pm (UTC)
I've read some of her talks and flipped through her book...but since not married nor even remotely close figured I had better things to peruse. She did have quite a few good things to say.

And yes, yes, yes...I know psychologist/psychiatrists/any profession don't need to go through everything their patients/clients do in order to be effective... but ... I guess I'm just snarkily prejudiced. It's just too easy to say, "Yeah? What do YOU know?" ;)
Apr. 8th, 2006 10:28 pm (UTC)
I guess I can see it both ways. I think you can learn a lot about the topic by studying and by observing other people's marriages, and that might even add some objectivity. OTOH - I haven't met many chemical dependency counselors whose opinions and insight I respected who were not themselves recovering alcoholics or addicts.
Apr. 8th, 2006 11:28 pm (UTC)
See...I haven't met very many psychiatrists and/or psychologists who didn't seem to need the most help themselves. Generally they make me wary. Get away from my frakkin' BRAIN.

With that said, I also recognize the dramatic help a handful have provided for my friends, family and various loved ones.
Apr. 8th, 2006 04:14 pm (UTC)
This is not to say that personal experience doesn't help with empathy and so forth, but....

People who don't think therapists who are not married or childless should not be family therapists should, by the same logic, not go to doctors who have not had all the diseases they might have. There's a huge amount of information and training that goes into the job, and personally I'd rather get tips on child development or relationship-building from someone educated in the field, than someone who simply bore and now cares for a child, or married a spouse. Even parents/spouses who read self-help books, etc., are usually not educated in knowing how to evaluate studies, the quality of the information, the different fields of thought, all the different methods, and so forth.

Being a parent makes you an expert in your children, not all children; the same with relationships and marriages. Being a trained therapist makes you an expert in things common to all children/marriages/families, the broad variety of things that can happen in those, and the many options in grappling with them. So as a wife, I don't feel very good advising another wife on her relationship, since all I have is my experience to base that upon; but as a graduate student on the way to being a psychologist, I already know vastly more than I do as a wife, and I know by the time I start working, I'll be much more useful to clients.
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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