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1. I had an interesting comment pointed out to me that I don't actually post that much any more. I thought it was kind of curious because I thought, "Is she kidding, I post all the TIME!" and realized that yes, I DO...but they are all mostly cartoons. Of course, I think to see my cartoons is to see me...to display one's art is a soul exposing exercise. It's impossible not to take personally because it IS personal. But I figured maybe it was high time for a more dialogue heavy post. Here ya go.

2. I ended an 8 year old relationship of perpetual hazy definition at the end of November. My choice and it devastated me but after years of frustration and hurt and feeling yanked around and taken for granted and miscommunication on both sides it all pretty much came to a head the last part of 2005 and I couldn't see any other way through it. I guess things have improved...the nightmares have finally started to dwindle away. Ever stupid morning right before I would wake up I would dream about HER and the themes were always the same.
Heck, I had one that was so obvious I had to wake up laughing.
"Leave me alone!" I screamed in my dream as she and her boyfriend banged on my door. "I'm NAKED!"
As I said, I guess my subconscious is finally getting the point because, as I say, the nightmares have dwindled. And every day I feel a little more sane.

3. With that said I think I'm struggling against some depression. I know I need to get out and exercise because few things make me feel as good as a good endorphin rush. I just need to DO it ... but I haven't been taking very good care of myself lately and I've definitely noticed. I need to get out of THAT downward spiral before I undo every good thing I did physically in 2005!

4. I think...I think I may have found a new place to live. Things aren't set in stone but it looks like a bit of ideal set up. It's not that much further from work and the environment would be a LOT better for my soul. At the least I wouldn't have to head home to Farmington every weekend just to escape the house. Nothing is signed in stone so I don't want to jinx it... but I hope it works out.
Yay for a garage and a fenced in back yard.

5. I have my eticket for the New Zealand trip but it might possibly be pushed back to mid February. I did have a good chat with Mark B last night though. He has made up for his previous doofus comment.
And what comment was that? When asked if he was excited to see me, there was a long pause.
"Um..." he finally said, "Well, yeah...I'm a bit nervous. I'm not really sure what expectations you have...uh, I'm not really good at relationships."

<-- BANGS HEAD.



6. I'm heading to wyckhurst's again this weekend. I need to record them for some voice work but mostly I just like hanging out down there. I get to play babysitter... I guess she has a lunch date and she and Bill have evening plans. It should be fun. I love spending time there. Aunt Jeanette RULES.

7. Doodles: Who DOESN'T doodle when they're on the phone?

I had a psychology class when I was in high school and one of the things the teacher talked about was how doodles could be very revealing as to the mindset of the person. She put on an incredibly boring video and gave us instructions to DOODLE. Which I DID. But then I got chewed out because I was told my doodles weren't DOODLES... my doodles were DRAWINGS. I guess I was supposed to draw boxes and circles and trees like everybody else.
At anyrate, here's a bit from a full page of doodles I did. I was playing with a new pen and boy I really like it. Not sure it's entirely worksafe since I've been poring over anatomy books lately.


Click image for page o' doodles.


8. Speaking of anatomy, I have life drawing tonight. I am happy and relieved. Like exercise, figure drawing is good for my soul. Tomorrow, Naked Thursdays!

9. There is no #9.

10. I woke up with Beowulf licking my face this morning. He doesn't usually do that.

Comments

( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
annilita
Jan. 12th, 2006 06:23 pm (UTC)
Is there ever a #9? Poor, neglected #9.

I wish that my brother Jason lived closer, because he, too, loves to hang out with his neices and nephews and is insanely good at it. Alas. Instead, I will be jealous of Soozy and Bill and their proximity to Aunt Jeanette.
tiwonge
Jan. 12th, 2006 06:35 pm (UTC)
There is too a #9. #9 is a big, fat lie!
jatg
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
That's why I don't mention it!
firynze
Jan. 12th, 2006 06:30 pm (UTC)
Ow. Kitties licking faces hurts a little.

Got my fingers crossed for your potential new place!! You really do need the respite.
jatg
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:12 pm (UTC)
We'll see!
mortuus
Jan. 12th, 2006 06:39 pm (UTC)
The two-headed man is kind of disturbing. I like it.

I hope the new place to live works out.
jatg
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:59 pm (UTC)
...Two headed man? (goes to look at doodles)
mortuus
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:14 pm (UTC)
The one right there in the middle. However, upon closer inspection, I suppose it is a full-bodied man and a head right next two it - two separate doodles. I like the two-headed man better. Yes, there is something wrong with me.
gigiss
Jan. 12th, 2006 08:54 pm (UTC)
1. I enjoy and value any and all insights into your life-thinking, even if I am not able to comment.

2. I am sorry about this one, sorry that it turned out this way.

3. A good resolve. Report back on this one frequently.

4. Someday, you will live where you really want to live, not somewhere where expediency drives you. And you will live with people who really want to live with you, not people with whom you live because.. expediency drives you to them.

5. Men are retards when it comes to articulating emotions. On behalf of all men, I wish to apologize for this, even though such a statement has no comforting value whatsoever.

6. Single aunts and uncles are always the coolest. But to those kids, Aunt Jeanette will always rule forever.

7. Your doodles rock. I am too insecure to doodle in ink, which is another reason I worship your doodleness.

8. Drawing is therapy. Physician, Heal Thyself.

9. Oh come now, there has to be a No. 9 lurking somewhere.

10. I love it when cats lick my fingers. Not my face. Sorry, Wulfie.
jatg
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:08 pm (UTC)
1. Thanks. Going back and looking over the last 2 months I am inspired and a wee bit horrified at my artistic productivity. Subliminate much? Indeed.

2. Me too. Me, me me me me too.

3. Shall. I've GOT to get New Zealand resolved though! As soon as I know for sure...for SURE when I'm going, I'm rushing off to get a years membership at the rec center. Few things I think will make me feel better and more focused and clear headed then regular workouts.

4. Sigh. You really think so? I was thinking about that the other night...if I will ever be in a place that is MINE full of people that aren't just there by circumstance either. I hope...

5. Well...I think of something my sister mentioned and it's that you can't force chemistry. She asked me why I went on that particular blind date earlier this year. Legit question that I had asked myself before and I guess my answer is this.
I hate salad dressing. Seriously, loathe, loathe, loathe it. And I tell that to people and they say, "What about ranch? Italian? A light vingarette?" They just can't comprehend that I DON'T LIKE SALAD DRESSING.

Every so often I too wonder about it...and I think, "Well, maybe I should give THIS one a try...or maybe I just didn't like it as a kid and my tastebuds have matured etc..." and so I will tentatively try salad dressing.

Without fail the instant it hits my tongue I recoil and want to scream, "GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!! GET IT OFF!!!"

And I guess THAT is why I try to do the Good Mormon Girl thing and wearily go out on dates... but at least I've quit beating myself up wondering why there is no chemistry. Because you just can't force it.

It WAS a collossally stupid thing for him to say... but I can't be mad at him for not being all "WHEEEE!!! Jeanette is coming!"

7. I hope so. It makes my head explode when I think how much I love those kids. BOOM!

8. No kidding. And Naked Thursday tonight. Swoon.

9. There is. Someday maybe I'll let it unlurk.

10. Not my face either...and he licks HARD!!! EW.
neurotic_one
Jan. 12th, 2006 09:50 pm (UTC)
... then I won't jinx it either. *crosses fingers*
jatg
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:09 pm (UTC)
Yeah, when do you want to meet Wulfie?
neurotic_one
Jan. 12th, 2006 10:17 pm (UTC)
um... anytime I guess. Evenings are always good.
red_girlfriend
Jan. 13th, 2006 12:56 am (UTC)
I wish you luck with all the changes going on and hope it all goes well for you.
squidley
Jan. 13th, 2006 04:30 am (UTC)
I love the female form in your doodle.
It seems very Mayan, Art Deco or possibly Faery like... It's very Iconic. I love the dreds. The feeling of movement is striking too; seems to be in mid-dance...

It's really beautiful to look at. Doodle? Drawing? That's ART.
jatg
Jan. 13th, 2006 11:43 pm (UTC)
Aw...you're sweet. But no, seriously. Just a doodle. Well, in her case it's a scribble. Snerk. :)
wurtmann
Jan. 13th, 2006 03:33 pm (UTC)
6. Have a good time. I don't have Olivia's pj's fixed but will do so today.

9. $$$ call me
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )

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