One of the best came out this evening though:
Shelby: Man, I need a sugar momma...
Jett: Go down to the library tomorrow. Apparently this weekend is Pride.
Also discussions that sparked from saladbar's earlier post:
Shelby: WHY would you EVER want COSMETIC SURGERY THERE?
Jett: MAN, If I ever let anybody around those bits, they'd jolly well better think they were the best looking bits EVER.
Shopping with Susie: (the roommate, not my sister:)
Susie: (after buying a pack of cigarettes) I know ... I really need to quit.
Jett: Have you tried not buying them?
On being checked out:
Jett: (to the cashier) Hey, I remember you. You checked me out LAST time.
Cashier: Um... What?
Jett: You don't remember? Trust me, it was hilarious.
Cashier: I'll certainly remember you the NEXT time.
Jett: (Joey imitation) Yeah, how YOU doin'.
On Mischief after banishing him to the bathroom and sending Beowulf downstairs so Mischief would quit terrorizing him while Mischief's owner does nothing.
Jett: (to Shelby.) I'm going to buy some fake black fur, cut it out in the shape of a pelt and NAIL it to her door. Think she'll notice him THEN?