Jett (jatg) wrote,
Jett
jatg

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I'm my own personal sitcom...except without the writers strikes and actors on drugs.

I have been crazy punchy and oh so free with the witty one liners today. I blame the early endorphin rush from this morning with our run. Seriously. RRARR.

One of the best came out this evening though:

Shelby: Man, I need a sugar momma...
Jett: Go down to the library tomorrow. Apparently this weekend is Pride.

Also discussions that sparked from saladbar's earlier post:

Shelby: WHY would you EVER want COSMETIC SURGERY THERE?
Jett: MAN, If I ever let anybody around those bits, they'd jolly well better think they were the best looking bits EVER.

Shopping with Susie: (the roommate, not my sister:)

Susie: (after buying a pack of cigarettes) I know ... I really need to quit.
Jett: Have you tried not buying them?

On being checked out:

Jett: (to the cashier) Hey, I remember you. You checked me out LAST time.
Cashier: Um... What?
Jett: You don't remember? Trust me, it was hilarious.
Cashier: I'll certainly remember you the NEXT time.
Jett: (Joey imitation) Yeah, how YOU doin'.

On Mischief after banishing him to the bathroom and sending Beowulf downstairs so Mischief would quit terrorizing him while Mischief's owner does nothing.

Jett: (to Shelby.) I'm going to buy some fake black fur, cut it out in the shape of a pelt and NAIL it to her door. Think she'll notice him THEN?

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