Jett (jatg) wrote,

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Had an enjoyable Sunday. Church was good and I hooked up with an from the good ol' Utah Relay service. She's now done with school and recently passed the bar. I'm thrilled she has been able to pursue her dream. It was fun to hook up and talk and while we have plans to get together `at some point' and have dinner and possibly go to a movie things are different. We won't see each other on a daily basis, our circle of friends are completely different and while it's nice to touch has made me a bit melancholy for past friends and past times.

Not that I want to go and relive any of them...but I started thinking back times and people I will always cherish. Reunions are fun things (well, not family generally. The people in my family I want contact with...are the people I maintain contact with.)

I went to my 10 year reunion 2 summers ago and I had a really good time. I was surprised at how nice it was to see everyone and see what everyone was up to and there are a few people I bounced quite a few emails with after...but even those have petered off. I don't want to go back and relive high school, heaven forbid...but some of your best don't see every day...and now you are lucky if you see them every few years. Someone you used to talk to every day in math you get a recap of their kids, a brief hug and away you go. I'm actually really surprised about the friends I've maintained contact with since high school. There are a few of them I wouldn't have believed in a mission years I'd still be in contact with and others...I can't believe I don't know where they are at all.

I saw a guy from my MTC district a month or so ago. I hadn't seen him since the night he and the rest of the group left. We were an insanely tight group...even our teachers commented on it...and now I don't really have a clue what any of them, save for my MTC comp are up to. Sad...but I'm told that's life.

My mission companions that I was literally inseparable from...I don't know what the majority of them are doing. There are things I assume, but I don't really know. I don't even know if my most favorite comp has kids by this point. It's safe to assume she does...but I can't believe I don't know.

Most of my good Sheridan buddies I really try to talk to them at least once every few months...but even those are getting harder and harder. There are a few of them I hear and so is engaged...this person worked on this game, I see names on credits (always a thrill,) but I miss those guys too. Do I want to go back to Sheridan? Absolutely not. True, there are times when I mull over going back and doing the fourth year but I know I would be severely kidding myself if the experience going back would be anything like the deep comraderie shared in third year.

So what do you do when you have good friends with lives that no longer remotely intersect with yours? For most of my life I've been good about moving on to the next stage of my life. I don't think I live in the past...far from it, I'm really good about bidding everyone farewell and head off to the next great adventure with nary a backward glance but what do you do with friendships you don't want to let go of?

I remember talking to my first missionary companion our first Christmas out about where we thought we would be in a number of years. We talked about things we wanted to do, places we wanted to go things we would do together...and I remember pausing and telling her how grateful I was for her friendship. I had never had a friend like that and I told her I didn't want to be the friend that all we did was send Christmas cards to each other. Neither of us could imagine that happening...and yet I haven't got a Christmas card even in the last 5 years. Wow. Now if I called her up out of the blue I don't have the foggiest idea what I would say...and I used to be able to tell her anything.

I've been promised that I would always have friends, that my circle of friends would grow from day to day...but there are times after meeting up with old friends I can't help but feel incredibly alone.

I find the best cure for melancholy is to go and draw. Think I'll go sharpen some pencils.

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