November 21st, 2005


"Production" or "Creative Endeavors"

Got into production mode last night and got enough signatures cut and assembled for 10 toned sketchbooks and 1 "especially for ink" sketchbook. I am pleased. It's quite a stack. I cheerfully admit I'm a fan of Desperate Housewives and to a lesser degree Grey's Anatomy on Sunday evenings but at least I'm productive during.
Need to get some more chipboard at the art store cut today and figure out if I have enough leather for the covers.


Church was good yesterday. Our relief society teacher teaches high school English. Currently they are going through Hamlet. She talked about the essays she has read and commented on one in particular. It was written by an 18 year old girl...and she wrote one sentence about what she has learned from Hamlet.
Rather than talking Hamlet's delay or whether or not the ghost was real or all the other things people discuss about this particular gloomy prince, she instead wrote this:

"I have learned from Ophelia it is stupid to love a boy more than he loves you."

Considering Ophelia's fate, I think that 18 year old girl is very wise.


Our church choir is getting ramped up for our Christmas program. Rehearsals are getting fun. My voice still isn't 100%... talking is fine...singing I am horrified at the lack of control I have. I'd better start practicing a bit harder in the shower.

"Death on the brain" or" Just in case..."

There have been 2 funerals I have attended in the last month. Both were shocks... one was an elderly man who found out he had cancer that had spread through his lungs and bones and only had 3 weeks to live. He quietly got the last of his affairs in order, called his friends and family and while it was very sad, they had at least two and a half quality weeks with him before he died.

Still though...his funeral was odd. He hadn't been the best father and while he was considered successul in the world... a college professor, heavily involved in the church, knew several high up influential people...last year he was Utah's Republican of the Year. His children, those who attended, while sad still seemed to have rancor in their souls...never having forgiven him for really...being a bad dad.

I walked out thoughtful and feeling fairly dark. I didn't know him really. I'd met him a few times. I went because one of his children was speaking and asked me to be there as moral support.


The other was a dynamic man who had just hit 40. His family moved to England from Nigeria when he was young. Always interested in religion he would attend different churches and one day stumbled across an LDS chapel. He went in and came out a different person, later dragging his entire family and several friends. They all joined the church and from that point never looked back. He was handsome and smart and funny and dynamic and loved to dance and chase the girls and one day during a game of pickup basketball fell over never to get up again.

His death was a tragedy. His funeral was optimistic and energetic and full of life, just like the life he lead. Yes, there were tears...a lot of them... but the sense of a life well lived has lingered with me.


The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

So of course, this makes me think of things I would want in the event of my own untimely passing. I of course will be disappointed if I don't see 2076. Got a ways to go still. never know. I think of Briant...I think of Mark H... they thought they had a lot of time still too.

A lot of music. A lot of talk about hope and resurrection and love and peace and joy. I would hope some funny anecdotes would be shared.
I would hope family and friends come out of my funeral feeling uplifted and inspired to live better lives rather than come out crushed and feeling an irreplacable loss.

Time to update my funeral "wish list."