August 4th, 2005


"No, this time for real!" or "Our journey so far."

Yesterday I was all mentally checked out, ready to go and divorcing myself from my circumstances and anxious to be on my way.

With the extra night though...which felt so... normal... like an odd routine had been established...(we actually HADN'T established before...but like I said, it FELT established...)I was a bit startled to actually pull into the Buffalo airport and realize there were going to be no last minute changes, delays, bad weather, construction or crazy sheep like crowds. I was going to waltz straight up, show my passport and info which had been printed yesterday, check my bag, go through security and that was going to be that.

How odd to actually BE leaving. I feel like I have been leaving for days.

Last night:

The night previous...when we FINALLY got in to Hamilton, Alex disappeared into her room. I chatted a bit with Bridget and Amanda. I had homemade chicken noodle soup, brought over by Bridget, pushed a load of laundry (everything I had by that point was utterly filthy and I was tired of wearing dirty clothes and decided that I wanted to sleep in something clean and go home in something clean the next day.)
Did the dishes (okay, Amanda did the dishes and I dried,) and then being the good sport she always is, at my suggestion Amanda and I went for a long walk. I had joked earlier that the two of us needed to create some non heavy memories and I think...for me anyway...this particular item was accomplished. She's a good walker and always an intriguing conversation. We walked a lot longer than I realized we had...but I guess after 6 hours of driving, standing and driving again, I was feeling a bit restless..and as always...needed some processing time.

And unlike the night previous, my prayers and final conscious thoughts were untroubled and I slept and slept and slept.

At the airport:

Someday I will manage a smooth goodbye with Alex...but today will not be that day. I will say that it was the smoothest today than it has been in years.

It was comforting though after I had crushed her to me in a hard hug and went through all the security to find myself looking distantly back and seeing her and Amanda quietly looking at me. In a fit of whimsy I pulled a "Yakko Warner," blowing them a kiss, smiling jauntily and collected my newly X-rayed things.

"Goooodnight everybody!"

Adios mi amorcita. Que te vayas bien.

The Buffalo airport is small. It takes no time to traverse from one side to the other...which I did over and over. I find I can walk nearly the length of it holding my breath. The things I do to amuse myself.

I didn't want to sit down, knowing that I would be sitting quite a bit during the course of the day. My pacing is getting worse.

As the plane loaded, I finally settled down to start reading The Life of Pi. By this book I am rivited and comforted as the words and thoughts wash over me. I feel like I am a piece of flotsam simply content to drift as the words bobble me back and forth, perhaps with some ultimate destination...but as I read it, I am content to simply be and float as the pages flip by.

It is a small plane. I have both an aisle and a window seat, gloriously padded. How interesting to sit by ones self. The aisle next to me has only 2 seats both with teenagers who sullenly ignore me. That's fine. I think about the differences between my first flight...the one from Salt Lake to Chicago where I sat with two middle aged men, both involved in the mining industry and willing to chat.

Now I want to quietly sit and read and look out at the enormous clouds that I am sure are spectatcular from the ground but look even more like gleaming mounds of cream from above. I feel solitary and only quietly ask if a Canada Dry is available instead of playing my game to see if I can get the flight attendant to smile and talk for a bit.

Chicago: Thus far

I quietly thanked the attendants and pilot with my usual end of flight mantra. "Thank you for an uneventful flight." This never fails to elicit a smile and a laugh and usually the return response is, "Those are the kind we like!"

I have a flash thought, thinking of the passengers yesterday that reportedly clapped at the landing of the flight...moments before it skidded out of control and landed in a ditch. I think about how easily I can crack jokes about it...only because everybody lived.
I smile back at the flight crew tucking The Life of Pi into my backpack and head to my next gate. I have much time to kill between thither and yon and take my time going from one terminal to the other. I stop as I feel something drip on my leg. It is not a huge drop...and for a second I wonder if I imagine it. However, something on my leg IS wet and it smells a bit like ... curry.


I grab a fork from the nearest fast food hole in the airport wall and finding a secluded spot I sit down and break out the sweet potato curry. Sure enough, the tupperware lid has come ajar and a little bit has seeped out. My bag now smells like curry. I am utterly okay with this.

Still though, it is a risk as I hesitantly try my first bite. It has been out for quite a while and I'm sure what I'm doing by eating it is astonishingly stupid and I am really hoping that I am not about to create a memory that will render sweet potato curry forever inedible...but so far it seems to be sitting pretty well.

Yes, I am sitting on the floor in the Chicago airport with my laptop plugged in, slowly charging up. When I have enough juice I may try outside the Admiral's Club where apparently one can sneak a bit online. I find it a bit odd that Chicago is not wired...and Buffalo is. When will it become simply standard that airports have wireless connections?

Heh heh heh:

Sitting outside the Admirals Club and Executive Center, it looks like I CAN sneak online. Well, my wireless IS registering that I've snagged a signal...but perhaps it is not enough as it will not send this LJ entry. Ah. I CAN sneak on...sort of. I need a username and password. How incredibly annoying.
  • Current Music
    I Think it's Going to Rain Today-Mama Cass Elliot-Cass Elliot

"At Last" or "The Remains of the Day"

The rest of the day passed with relative unevent. I sat for a very long time in the Chicago airport, finishing up Life of Pi right as we were boarding. I sat next to an interesting person on the plane and in a switch from my "leave me alone!" attitude on the first flight, she and I wound up being fairly chatty throughout the whole flight. She comes from good pioneer LDS heritage stock and turned her back on it...and I have not...which made for some interesting conversation. We had a lot in common, gave each other recommendations on books, what we thought about certain things and eventually we got into faith and logic and hope and knowledge.

The conversation was good for my soul.

She told me as we were departing was that I had made her rethink some things and want to review others...that I gave her a whole new perspective on Mormonism. I was a bit startled but then had to smile. Hermana Atwood rides again.

Lawrence was waiting for me and it was so wonderful to see his hulking frame. He was smiling (of course) and chatting with a lady next to him (of course,) and I fairly launched myself at him. I was in dire need of a big bear brotherly huge.

Off to Farmington where I chatted a bit with the folks, both of whom seemed delighted to see me, they wanted to know how Alex was, how was the trip etc. I collected Beowulf who seemed a bit startled to be put into his carrier and headed back to Salt Lake. How nice to be the one DRIVING.

It was so nice to step through the front door of the house and see the roommates sitting on the floor ... eating some sort of dessert and chatting and basically everyone catching everyone else up on the events of the month. How the one roommate left, Mischief is gone, miscommunications (um...I EMAILED you that you needed to be out of your room, you didn't GET IT?) It all felt very...normal. They were pleasantly shocked over my hair. WheeEEEeee!

And then my room...and my bed. I had cleaned both rather well before I left and it was so nice to peel off my clothes, drop my backpack on the floor and just collapse into my sweet smelling bed.

I was up this morning at 5 AM...

And now I am at work, finishing up a cartoon.

"The epilogue" or "Ask me again tomorrow."

Despite my fears...holy cow...nanaimo bars and President's Choice chocolate chip cookies and sweet potato curry and East Side Mario's half a chicken dinners...everyone has been commenting that I look thinner. One of the first things Lawrence said was, "Hey, you lost `Fat Girl Face!' which cracks me up.

Behold, the scale says I dropped 5 pounds whilst in the Northern Land.

I suspect I walked a lot more than I realized.


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    a bit silly