Friday some of my life drawing group met at Cassandra's (one of our regular models,) for a farewell dinner to Dierdre. It was a most pleasant evening. I have never had a vegan dinner and was somewhat wary but it wound up being excellent. As well as being a model Cassandra also teaches writing at the local community college and does workshops on vegan cooking so she is a rather ecclectic yet rounded individual.
I found the evening fascinating because it is rare that I associate with my friends outside of Kamille's studio and it's interesting seeing who they are outside of that space.
There was much laughing, many stories...(I told my tiger story and was surprised that I had never related that particular experiencey to them.) We heard about exploding paint sprayers, accidents with power tools, "Well, at least it cut your hand along the grain!" and some people had a little too much wine and one too many marguaritas. I was glad *I* was driving. However, only two glasses were broken during the evening, both within 5 minutes and I was responsible for neither.
I looked around the peeling picnic table and tried to soak the experience up. The group of us...we are not a tight knit family, we do not really hang out anywhere except the studio. Especially me. I am not one of Kamille's full time students...I am just the clockwork regular to Naked Tuesday. I don't think I am going to be aware of where these people are at in say, 20 years but right now, our lives are touching the others on at least one level and Friday night was a celebration of that. I looked around in the candlelight and tried to memorize the moment. I am such a sucker for lighting.
Remember the smells, the way the light flickers on this person's face, how the air felt a bit chilly...but a spring chilly. Remember how the roasted peppers taste when dipped into the sauce... I often try to make a snapshot of moments in my brain. I wonder sometimes if I am too good at it because I am able to stop and place myself back in a particular time and remember things and interactions that I am sure most everyone else has forgotten. Feeling like one is a custodian of time and memory can be scary sometimes. I try not to revisit too often. I am really trying to learn the fine art of living in the present.
It is ...non progressive to live in the past and futile to try to live in the future. Unfortunately I do both really well.
So I started thinking about connections and when and where we have them. Are we really aware when a connection has been made? When do we realize it is a connection that will last beyond that particular moment? Connections that last...they are rare, they take time and tears I believe. They are work. I think often I am hesitant to try to make one beyond the moment because I am aware of how much I invest in one, once I am really aware it has been made. This is not to say I do not value them, indeed because they have been so costly, they are above price to me.
It is always interesting see how lives meet and intersect and intertwine. A favorite game `round these here parts is "Who do you know?" If you are LDS, went on a mission or know someone who went to BYU, odds are you both have at least ONE person in common. I like the uncoincidental coincidence when particular worlds collide.
Something equally fascinating to me is when we drop in and out of each others lives. This has also been happening to me lately. I have decided to not really analyze it and just go with it. One can not force a connection and when there is one, be grateful for it because you never know how long it will last.