December 22nd, 2003

Flying Ace

In the end it's all about...

(It's late and I have to be back at 8:00 in the morning. Why am I doing this instead of being in bed? I discover if I don't mentally unwind I have theater dreams.)

1. LIVING ARRANGEMENT
Wulfie & me in a one bedroom apartment. Hoping to add a few fish soon.

2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? 
The DaVinci Code

3. WHATS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Don't have one. Laptop, thanks.

4. WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE BOARD GAME?
Rather like my Hat game. We're on version 4.0 now.

5. YOUR FAVOURITE MAGAZINE?
If I'm at a doctors office and there are magazines I usually pick up Time.

6. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
Rain, cinnamon, freshly sharpened Dixon Ticonderoga pencil #2. SIGH...

7.FAVOURITE SOUND?
Children laughing. More specifically my niece and nephews laughing.
Okay and applause.

8.WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Knowing I have disappointed people.

9. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING?
What time is it?

10. FAVOURITE COLOURS? 
Greens.

11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE?
Two. If I recognize the name. Si no, it's a crapshoot to see if I'll answer it.

12. NAME OF FUTURE CHILDREN?
This question assumes much.

13. MOST IMPORTANT THING IN LIFE?
Truth. And living it.

14.FAVOURITE FOOD?
Heaven help me, it's xenologue's sweet potato curry. Gurgle gurgle gurgle... and HEY she still owes me some too! Back to gurgling now...

15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA ICE CREAM?
Both. Why on earth can't you have BOTH?!?!

16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? 
VROOOooooOOOOoooommmmm! I've heard you can go from one point in the US to any other point in the continental US in 2 days if you can drive non stop. I've always wanted to try this thing.
 
DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Depends on if he's eaten already or not.

18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY?
Both, but leans heavily on the first.

19. WHAT TYPE WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
A 1995 Suzuki Sidekick. White. Man, I loved that little SUV. Course, Friday is a near carbon copy, except Dr. Pepper colored and a stick, but I still sigh wistfully when I see a white sidekick go by. Yes, I know...wyckhurst doesn't like white cars. Too bad.

20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? 
Jesus or Joseph Smith. Boy do I have some questions.

21. FAVOURITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK?
Um...Nyquil?

22. WHAT IS YOUR ZODIAC SIGN?
Cancer...I grow on people (riimshot1)

23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI?
Tree trunks! Sure!

24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB YOU WANTED WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Storyboard artist at Pixar.

25. EVER BEEN IN LOVE?
Why yes. Yes I have. So there.

26. IS THE GLASS HALF EMPTY OR HALF FULL?
Full. Unless it's full of mayonaise...and then it's just nasty!

27. FAVOURITE BOOK:
Assuming non scriptural?
Books I go back to a LOT... The Divine Center, The Illusion of Life, Gone With the Wind

28. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED?
3 drawers.

29. Apparently there IS no number 29. Odd.

30. FAVOURITE NUMBER?
If it's going to behave that way certainly not 29! I'll stick with 27, thanks!

31. LEAST FAVOURITE SPORT TO WATCH? 
Has to be GOLF! Curling got a lot more fun to watch once the rules were explained. brushbrushbrushbrush...

32. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
She makes me think.

33. CARTOON CHARACTER?
I think I'm my own cartoon character already.
  • Current Music
    Festivus Christmas
Flying Ace

Warning: Grumpy Ranty Pissed off Jett

Okay, so again, I'm BIG TIME grumpy. I've been sorting through my emails from the past 2 to 3 years trying to clean out my inbox and get them all pasted into my journal...and reading this slice of my life...going through disappointment after disappointment... reading silly back and forths with people that now I can barely say hello to now, well...I'm finding myself in a rough spot.

Never apologize for how you feel. Despite what my dad says, I have every right to feel angry and pissed off whenver I @#$% well want to. It doesn't have to be logical. This is who I am. Right now.

My days are really starting to blur badly and today was no exception. The people would NOT STOP COMING! We thought we would have some moments of respite between our LOTRs but NOOOO. They came for Mona Lisa Smile, they came for gift certificates, they came for business buyouts all armed with 5$ megacards (which are of the devil.)
I knew we were going to be slammed so I made some emergency phone calls and got some extra people in...and wound up using every flippin' one of them...and during our biggest rush I was pulled aside by the manager of the theater and got lectured on over staffing.
"How come there are so many people on?"
"Uh, go look at the LINE!" (it was through all the stantions and halfway through the lobby.)
He looked startled, "There's a line?"

AAUUGH.


I can't wait for halfway through January and especially after Valentines (and oh how I loathe that made up holiday!) for things to slow down. Hopefully by then my portfolio will be in good enough condition I can send it out.

I think I'm suffering a bit of depression...maybe it's the NO SUNLIGHT, maybe it's the constant time at the theater, maybe it's ...well, it's a whole lot of things but tonight I'm sitting here feeling sad, angry, pissy and lonely all wrapped up into one ferocious angry ball.

Cue Rant:

How come I never get what I want?
(okay, I know that's not really true, but man it sure feels like it!)

Okay, let's rephrase...how come for the last TWO YEARS I haven't gotten anything I've really wanted? Seriously!
What on EARTH am I supposed to be learning here?
To not want? To not desire? To not push? To not TRY?!

Hey, thought you were going to be an animator the rest of your life? Ha ha! NO!
Every project I have worked on, every proposal I have pushed, every freakin' place I have applied, to be shut down again and again and again! Good GRIEF! I just think I'd like to curl down and DIE if I thought I am supposed to be working at a theater for the next 5 years. No way. No way in HELL!!!

The only thing I'm getting rewarded for is a job I never really wanted in the first place! It was supposed to be some temp thing to get me through the holidays of LAST YEAR!!! And I'm GOOD at it! That makes it somehow so much more WORSE!!!

And relationships? Well, hey. What have I learned? Right now don't want anything to do with those either because you won't get what you want with those either! Why do I BOTHER?!



Should I edit this entry? Probably. I'm over tired, I've been down a hard walk of memory lane and I have no cat at home to soothe me and I know I will be feeling better in the morning. Right now though, "Grrr...Arrr...."
  • Current Mood
    angry angry