Jett (jatg) wrote,
Jett
jatg

Theater Lines...

Talking to a guest:
"So...what's the biggest popcorn ya got?"
"Well sir, we call that a LARGE."

Talking to one of my team members about parental child rearing strategies:
"Man, I'm glad *I* never had to have curfews or let my parents know what I was doing or anything!"
"Yes...but then, I never had to go to Juvie either."
Pause.
"Okay, that's a good point."

Talking to guests:
"So, what're you going to go see?"
"Oh, we're seeing Troy!"
"Ah, Brad Pitt in his leather skirt!"
"Is it good?"
"Well, I think he's a bad actor...but he does look GOOD in that leather skirt."
"Well, then we're going to get what we paid for!"

Talking to Team Members:
"I'm excited about it! I like Garfield!"
"Stupid people like Garfield."
"But...I like Garfield!"

Yelling at Managers:
"You can't just say, `Stupid people like Garfield,' to fellow team members!"
"But it's TRUE! Garfield represents everything WRONG with American comics!"
"Oh it does not!"
"Yes it DOES! It hasn't been FUNNY since 1983, Jim Davis does even write it or DRAW it any more! He has a whole little company who just crank out the same 5 tired jokes year after year after year! It takes up valuable real estate in newspaper comics making it harder for a GOOD comic to break in, but NO, heaven forbid Garfield doesn't eat his lasagna, kick Odie, sleep late or squash that stupid spider! Did I MISS anything?!"
" Garfield is the American DREAM! The cartoonist came up with an idea and now pays people to do it and makes piles of money!"
Pause...
"Garfield is NOT the American DREAM!!! You do not have an entire company to DRAW your own stupid cartoon!"
"Peanuts did it!"
"No, Charles Schultz wrote and drew every single strip!"
"He had a company!"
"Not for just doing the strip!"
"Well he SHOULD have, just look how easy the Garfield guy has it!"
"Garfield has no SOUL!"
"Who cares, he's the American DREAM!"
"GARFIELD IS NOT THE AMERICAN DREAM FOR COMICS!
"Yes it is! Tell me how I'm WRONG?"
"You're just saying that to get me MAD and it's WORKING!!!"
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