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"A Question" or "Which really is easier?"

I wrote this post after a whole series of posts deluged the Side Topics forum on Animation Nation.  Sadly, my chosen profession seems to be full of "Truthers" and conspiracy theorists and folks slightly to the left of Stalin.  After nutbar posts on how the towers were pre-rigged to explode on Sept 11th and there really was no plane that hit the pentagon and how this war is all just about oil I had to speak up for my own sanity.


A question:

For what it's costing the US...apparently completely under the sway of evil greeeeeedy oil barons with a country full of stupefied rubes, dupes and overly jingoistic patriotic yokels don't you think it would have been soooo much easier and a lot less expensive for these huge shadowy evil masterminds (is it George W or not? I can't remember if he's supposed to be the evil genius behind September 11th or a vegetative Hitler-esque chimperor.) to just start drilling for oil in our own country?

Come my friend, and let us consider together:

Are the environmental regulations so tough and the greenies so unassailable that we are supposed to believe it is easier and ultimately more profitable to plan a huge global conspiracy to go to war in the middle east rather than convincing US citizens we should use our own resources and simply drill our own oil here at home?

Let's think about what planning such a conspiracy would entail.

Phase I:

September 11:

You have to convince the American people there's a reason for war. Let's say it's terrorism. This is fairly easy since terrorist activity IS on the rise. How convenient that there were previous attacks on the world trade center, the Anbar towers and the US Cole. Time for a major, major escalation. Thousands of people are going to die on American soil.

You have to plan September 11th. This is going to wreak major (albeit temporary, hooray for that capitalism engine chugging along) economic havok but you shrug it off rubbing your greedy hands together knowing that future spoils are yours, despite the enormous hit all markets take.

Among other things, in order to plan September 11th you have to have the twin towers pre wired to explode...and pay hundreds of demotion experts who do that sort of thing to keep very, very quiet about doing it. You have to make sure they don't say anything that particular job even after the buildings fall.

You have to hope those radial Islam pilots actually manage to HIT the buildings so you CAN detonate them.

You have to vanish several hundred passengers from various flights and for some reason acquire a missile to hit the Pentagon and tell people it was an airplane.

You have to plan all of this in 9 months.

___

Phase II:

Off to Afghanistan:

Convince the US Congress and the American people that the Taliban and specifically Bin Ladin are behind the attacks and not you, the evil genius mastermind. You don't really CARE about Afghanistan...you want Iraq and the oil but you must be patient.
It helps that Bin Ladin and the Taliban claim credit for toppling the towers. Maybe they even believe it...but they do not know the hand you had in it. Again, how frighteningly clever of you to wire the buildings to detonate.

Afghanistan, despite media warnings that it's going to be a quagmire comes under US control fairly easily. You have to make sure they don't get Bin Ladin though. If the US got him, it would be hard to convince people on Phase III of your plan.

____


Phase III:

Demonizing Saddam:

You have to convince people that Saddam Hussain is an imminent threat. This is fairly easy since all the intelligence the whole world over is convinced he either has or is trying to acquire WMDs. He has kicked out the UN weapon inspectors (violating several UN resolutions,) and is refusing to let anyone come in and look. (violating even more.)

He's also easy to demonize...this is a guy whose sons tortured the national soccer team if they missed goals and had professional rapists on his payroll. He has used WMDs on his own people and has slaughtered thousands more.

It also helps that the previous administration has soundbites of everyone from Clinton on down warning what a threat he was to world wide stability and was questing for said weapons.

It also helps that there are clips of Al Gore chastising Bush 41 for not doing ENOUGH to bring down Hussain in 1991.

You have to fool every member of Congress to vote for going to war. They see the intelligence provided, (that you so artfully faked) and give their roaring approval. You even build a world wide coalition bigger than the one that went to war in 1990 to stick with the US in going to war in Iraq.

Truly, you ARE an evil genius mastermind.

___

Phase IV:

Off to war!

Again, despite media warnings that this was going to be a protracted war with Saddam's guards and soldiers fighting to the bitter end, Iraq falls rather easily. The people cheer seeing his statue topple and invite US soldiers to join them in hitting it with shoes.

...and then you realize...

YOU FORGOT TO PLANT WMDS.

Oh CRAP! How could you forget something as basic as THAT!!!! You go to ALL this work and forget to actually PLANT THEM!!! AAAUUUGHHHHH!

Never mind. Just breathe...just breathe. You can salvage this. Just sit back and wait.

You know that Iran is going to do everything it can to disrupt the building of a democracy in Iraq...you are going to do everything in your power to make sure this whole thing turns into a major powder keg. Al Qaeda members from all corners are going to flood the area and it's going to be a blood bath.

Just wait...eventually they're all going to kill themselves and you can swoop in and take control of the oil fields making you very, very wealthy. I mean, even more than you already are. It wasn't cheap to plan all of this.

____

All of this is easier and less expensive than convincing Congress and the American people...who are already upset about US jobs and money going overseas...to simply get our own oil here at home.

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
smoemeth
Sep. 19th, 2007 01:09 am (UTC)
Your argument would hold water if the United States were sitting on oil reserves equaling the vastness of those in the Middle East. However, it's not (not by any stretch of the imagination), so it doesn't.

The current US administration *is* attempting to get whatever oil it can out of our own soil -- see the ongoing fight over opening up ANWR to drilling. But that's simply not enough to match our insatiable appetite for fossil fuels.

September 11 provided a very convenient excuse for the inevitable. GW Bush took office with one of his main goals being the invasion of Iraq, ostensibly to avenge the assassination attempt on his father but in reality to capture Iraq's oil reserves. This fact has been well documented.

I am by no means a 9/11 conspiracy theorist ... but if this war were really about avenging that day and capturing Osama bin Laden we would have invaded Pakistan instead of Iraq four years ago, and we would long since have bin Laden in custody. Seriously, when Alan Greenspan, staunch Republican former head of the Federal Reserve comes straight out and says that this war is and always has been all about oil, people have to sit up and *finally* take notice.
fallenpegasus
Sep. 19th, 2007 06:13 am (UTC)
Bullshit on the "capture of the oil reserves".

Saddam wanted to sell the oil to US, for cheaper than any invasion would have cost. The reason why he tried to invade Kuwait in the first place was so he could undercut the Saudis and get the price of oil even lower.

Even now, when we have Iraq's goverment and oil reserves firmly under US control, we are still buying it at full market rate.

So, again, utter fucking idiotic bullshit.

Do you have a URL on the quote on Greenspan saying it was about oil?

And do you have any non-moonbat URLs to "This fact has been well documented"?

The "famous quote" from the VP about "Iraq's Oil" was, when you look at the entire quote, he was saying that Iraq was using it's oil money to buy the ability to make trouble, while if Iraq was dirt poor, it would be internationally irrelevent, and thus could be ignored.
smoemeth
Sep. 19th, 2007 04:05 pm (UTC)
Do you have a URL on the quote on Greenspan saying it was about oil?

"I'm saddened that it is politically inconvenient to acknowledge what everyone knows -- the Iraq war is largely about oil."

And do you have any non-moonbat URLs to "This fact has been well documented"?

Let's start with The Downing Street Memo site. Non-"moonbat", as you so charitably put it, plenty of primary sources (including scans of actual government documents), and secondary sources are from the mass media, not fringe blogs or conspiracy-theory sites. The facts exist, and they are there.

The Iraqi government may be under US control, but the oil reserves most certainly are not, thanks to the ongoing insurgency. If the US invasion had proceeded with any sort of plan about what to do once we did bring down Saddam, we wouldn't need to be buying oil at full price today.
jatg
Sep. 19th, 2007 07:15 pm (UTC)
You are more than welcome to comment in my journal but to quote Suzanne, my mother (and YOURS) reads this journal so please keep your language pg-13. Thx. :)
wyckhurst
Sep. 19th, 2007 01:22 am (UTC)
TL; DR

They wanted their own country or safe base in the middle east, so they thought they could take and make one.
(Deleted comment)
jatg
Sep. 19th, 2007 07:03 pm (UTC)
That's generally how I feel about conspiracy theories.
People concoct these wild scenarios that involve things that takes control away from them... (think Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files) because the alternative ... that bad things JUST happen is too much for them to bear.

Why do you think so many wacky conspiracies emerged from JFK getting shot? Thinking that one disaffected lone nutbar can squeeze his finger and change the world and DID was just too horrible to contemplate.

Conspiracy theories give comfort I think because it gives meaning to the meaningless.

I find it scary that people would concoct these insane theories rather than accepting a more horrible & scary truth. 19 radical Muslims highjacked our OWN airplanes with BOXCUTTERS and took down the world trade towers and killed over 3000 Americans on a beautiful September day.

THAT is scary.
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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